Being me in the world
The verdict is in…
(I have finished reading the Erma Bombeck and am now reading a John Grisham)
The lymph node biopsy shows that there is a trace of the cancer in my lymph – which means that a whole whack of other lymph nodes will have to be removed. And I will have a mastectomy.
There, that’s it. The decision has been made.
Next step is to see the plastic surgeon to talk about the options for reconstruction etc.
It feels as though this is what it was always going to be. Three weeks ago I learned that I have a growth in my breast. Three weeks ago, I made the Freudian slip a few times, saying, “I’m having a mastec- mammogram on Monday.”
And so it it come full circle, so it seems. I will truly have a mastectomy within the next week. It is even more surreal now that it is actually really going to happen. To make that statement – about myself – seems to have no place in this world.
And, yet, this is how it is.
And that is what I will deal with next: the next step up the mountain.