Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Tuesday 21st October

I feel as though I should start a sub-heading to each day, or some kind of countdown: DAY 15.

This is the 15th day I have the drain in – and it is blocked. Again. (In fact, it was blocking yesterday evening already 🙁  )

Yesterday was a ‘being irritated’ day. There was a lot going on, with Dani’s house play and getting the furniture to the school – and Michael having a cricket match. Oh, and with the now obligatory visit to the doc to have the drain unblocked…

I have now discovered a more ‘sneaky’ route to Morningside that misses most of the main roads (yay!) and am almost on first-name terms with the security guards at the clinic. Well, not quite, but give me (and my drain) a few more days!


The greatest source of my irritation is this damn drain. It must come out now. I am sick-and-tired of carrying a bag around with it in it. The site where it enters / exits is constantly sore and it is really getting to me.

On the other hand, though – I feel like such a fraud when I moan about my drain. It has, after all, only been in for just over 2 weeks. Some people have  a lot more irritating things to deal with for a lot longer.

We do, however, each have to deal with what we are given. What may seem like a mountain to me at one time, may be a small hill to someone else in relation to what they face. Then, my own mountain may pale into insignificance against something else I may have to face. Everything is relative. But we have to deal with each thing the best we can at the time.

Of course just to confuse the issue completely, the drain seems to have decided to work again! At least, partially.

I like things that I understand. If not, I need to make sense of them.

I have understood much about this cancer thing as it has gone along. This drain and the blocking and the way my body is still producing enough ‘gruck’ to be got rid of does not make sense to me. Hopefully the doc will be able to provide some clarity.



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