Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Wednesday 12th November

I am a firm believer in the idea that “A change is as good as a holiday.”

It can be something as simple as a new outfit, going somewhere unexpectedly, or even unusual – or having a haircut.

So, maybe losing my hair will be like a long holiday!

I find, though, that the greatest change at the moment for me is the way I am approaching life and work. I don’t seem to be as computer-orientated as I remember myself being earlier in the year – although I could not begin to put any sort of date to this. Maybe it’s not earlier this year that I am remembering, but in the last few years – definitely since I started freelancing.

At the moment, particularly, I definitely sleep more than I have for many years. I’m sure that this is a lot to do with the effects of the operations and the chemo. It is quite a change for me, though, to not be getting up at around 4:30 each morning to do some work and then get things ready for school. In fact, that was what I was doing before the cancer thing. Prior to that (not sure exactly when), I would be up much earlier and work at strange hours of the night (early morning).

I remember having an email conversation with Bill at about 2:30 am, during which we established firmly that he really was not joking when he used to tell the paddling girls that the best time to get anything done is during that time.

Since chemo – and especially this week when only Mike is going to school, I barely make it out of bed by 5:30!

And yet, I do seem to be getting quite a good average of work done. I definitely don’t work as hard, or as much, as I should – but I’m not doing too badly.

I suppose it is okay to be slowed down slightly by cancer and chemo. 😉

It is slightly problematic that I also have a ‘holiday’ kind of approach at times, though. This is completely fed by the fact that I don’t have to go to lectures at the moment, because it’s exam season at Wits. Also, David is on holiday and Sarah is with me at home. Sometimes, I have to fight to get my place firmly in front of the computer. At least, to make myself take that place.

As long as I can keep up a decent pace of working, perhaps this ‘holiday’ change is a good one – not a real holiday, as I have to keep working, but enough of a change from the pressure I was putting myself under previously to allow for a little of my version of R & R: recharging and recovery.

Not all changes have to be dramatic.

And not all holidays have to be long. 🙂


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