Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Saturday 22nd November

It’s six months today since Mum died. And I still can’t believe it most of the time.

I spoke to an old family friend yesterday and she was saying that we must all still be devastated because it is such a short time since Mum went. She is right. I know that we are all in the same state, which is pretty much devastation, upset and disbelief all at once.

At the same time that I can’t believe it is already 6 months, I also can’t believe it’s been so long. So much has happened in that time  – most of which has also been made harder because Mum isn’t here.

Life moves on, though and we all cope together.

I’m even beginning to get used to having just about no hair. I am pretty adept at tying a scarf or bandana – but do spend most of the time without any covering. I don’t have to look at myself, so, if anyone else thinks I look weird, well – what’s new? 😉

I went to the dam and paddled K2 with Dani yesterday. It was just after a rain shower and the light and air were really lovely. We did 2kms this time and I found paddling with Dan was just so much easier – because she was sharing the weight of the boat, but also because I could paddle more on one side without the boat going in a circle (or the like), or me having to worry about steering!

When Dani and Mike were little, they would help to unpack the car (or something) and would work together, helping each other, chanting all the time, “Team work works!”

And they are so right. Team work does work!

I think that’s the key to this whole cancer thing: it’s about me, but it’s not – it’s about everyone in the team. In fact, in different teams.

There’s the whole medical team, starting with Noel and working through all the specialists and their associates, to the Oncology team now, as chemo is the thing. Then there is the family team, too: offering everything they do all the time. And there is the friend team: about support.

The old, cliched, over-worked, overdone (etc etc) – and once-cute – saying, “There is no ‘I’ in team” is just so true so many times. 🙂

I’m not sure that anyone would ever consider cancer to be a team sport, but it surely is a team thing. That makes it doable.


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