Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Tuesday 4th November

Day 29. (Or Day 7)

So much happens so quickly. And yet, at the time, it seems to take so long!

I simply cannot believe that this time last week I was in hospital – in fact, most probably lying in the theatre already. And look at me now: the op and, mostly, recovery on the way, one chemo down and the Red Devil faced – and survived!

It was so funny yesterday. There I am sitting in the Oncology centre having the drip. The one drug (nicknamed the ‘Red Devil’) is actually bright red. So, David quickly points out that there goes one line of red into my arm and another line of red(dish) liquid coming out of my side (as the drain is still in).

Always good to be able to laugh!

I am not one to tempt fate and the great attack of nausea and other ‘lovely’ side effects may still kick in. For the most part, though, I am basically fine after my first chemo treatment. I feel slightly nauseous, but, as I assured Sarah – this is nothing like morning sickness (which I did 6 times!).

I do know that things take time, though, so am not completely convinced that I may not still fall foul of the effects of the drugs. I also know that everyone is individual and no reaction is predictable. So… here we go, another form of waiting game.


At least this is not something I actually have to wait for. I will forge ahead with work etc etc and have to deal with any fallout that may happen (excuse the pun!).

Apparently the hair loss is inevitable, so we will wait and see. Having no hair does not really hold fears for me – especially as I don’t have to look at myself in the mirror! The actual ‘coming out’ of the hair will freak me a bit.

Also – wonder how horrendous I’ll look without any eyebrows!

My one consolation is that everything will grow back again. So, this will only be for a relatively short period. Over the summer holiday, of course, with lots of sun involved. What the hell, though, we do what we have to do when we have to do it!

I am getting irritated without being able to go for a run. In fact, I am a little irritated with myself because I have done just about no decent exercise for nearly two months! That’s terrible. It’s been a story of don’t over-exert myself to make sure that my chest was better for the operations, then the pain from the ops has precluded much physical activity. Now the chemo is a factor in play, as well as the ongoing pain in my shoulder and side. It gets better every day, though, so I will take to the streets again soon!

One of Mum’s favourite verses from the Bible was from Ecclesiastes that says something like, “To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.” This may not be the time to run and do situps – or get into a boat – but the mountain is still there to finish being climbed.

Onward and upward.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *