Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Friday 5th December

Note to self (or word to the wise): Obey that instinct that says you should write your post in the earlier morning – while you have power and connectivity! {Otherwise you may be thwarted in your efforts by load-shedding!}

I have a new saying to coin, based on one that seems to rule my life:

Original: The best laid plans of mice and men gan aft aglee.

Mine: The best laid plans are often messed up by Eskom.

Apparently there are schedules for loadshedding in our area. Thus far, no pattern has been established and so we kind of expect it to happen at any time and have to live with the consequences. This evening these included not seeing what the penguins of Madagascar are getting up to… Much to Mike’s disappointment.

On the other hand, it is because of Eskom that Dani and Mike just played their first game of Cluedo and I had Sarah asking to play another round. See, there is life outside of television (evenΒ Glee) πŸ˜‰

We were at 55 again today. For the last week, it has felt a bit like a never-ending sea from which I won’t escape: there just seems to be stuff that keeps emerging and keeps needing to be sorted out and allocated and seen to. Carl has moved mountains, though (mainly to his house!), and the end is just about nigh. We hand over on Monday afternoon, then the end is here.

In some ways, I’m glad that it will happen before we go off on holiday. I will be there at the end, which is right. Also painful, though. In other ways, it would also be nice to have the feeling that we may just be able to return.

There is no good or easy option.

In between the loadshedding and clearing of the house, I’ve managed to keep up with work. Well, sort of. The only problem is, when you freelance, time literally means money. If I’d been paid to clear 55, I would be rather financially sound right now!

Oh well, we do what we have to do.

What with wanting to find hot food (during the blackouts) and just this being the festive season, I have been around quite a few public places recently – without any hair. It’s quite interesting how few strange looks I have been getting. Maybe people are just polite, or it’s really a non-event. It is rather unusual to see a kaalkop woman, though.

I know I’ve been right about not even thinking about getting a wig (sorry, Mum πŸ˜‰ ). I can barely bear to wear a bandanna or hat in this hot weather, how I would manage with wearing false hair all the time, I’ve yet to fathom.

People have kindly said I’m brave to shave my head and to kind of flaunt it. I’ve been told that I “rock the look”. I’m not sure about all that, though. To me, it’s about being practical and about not having to face my own demons. At this stage in my life, there is no other way to go, anyway, so this is it!

It’s kind of a ‘take me as I am’, World. I’m not going to cover my head unless there is sun or cold involved. It’s about me, not about what others may think.

And it’s not half bad, I have to admit. Whether I’m ‘rocking the look’, or just living with it, I’m not sure. Take it or leave it, though, this is how I am at the moment πŸ™‚

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