Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Monday 29th December

I am more and more convinced that there are a whole lot of angels that we each encounter in our lives. These angels may perform a range of activities, from sheer miracles to simple acts of kindness, or they may choose / need simply to be observers of individual journeys through life.

Sometimes we are aware of the role that an angel may play; sometimes we just receive the help, oblivious to what is helping us through a particular time.

Sometimes we are lucky enough to get to say thank you to our particular angels. Often, though, we may not even be aware that they are there for us.

Sharon insists that she is not an angel, she is simply herself. I disagree. Anyone who can help someone so hugely and so willingly has to have just a little degree of angel in them. Maybe she is simply one of Lola’s guardian angels J

Maybe that’s how it works: we do not necessarily know / understand the role that a particular person / angel may play in our lives, but, at times, we are reminded that we are not alone and that there are others who care about us and who can help make things happen.

We are never, ever truly alone.

Other angels in my life, and in that of many others, are the Oncology sisters. They are medical professionals who are simply doing a job. The manner in which they do it and how they make a patient feel goes beyond that, though. The one sister has a great respect for all her patients and their ability to sit and have the harsh drugs pushed through their veins. She makes one feel strong and special.

Then we each have our own, special angels. Like Mum. And Dad.

I firmly believe that, when they died, somehow Mum and Dad each kind of dissolved and spread into some kind of cloud / mass of love and energy that touches and covers each one of us individually and collectively all the time. There are 19 people in the immediate ‘Ballot’ family (including the 4 siblings, sons-in-law and grandchildren). Just as Mum has been with me every step of the way through this whole cancer thing, so has she been with every one of the others, comforting, guiding and helping – not only with regards to the cancer thing, but also with so much more in life.

Love always guided her and Dad and there is no reason why that should change.

Even though this last year has been a horrible, horrible year for all of us, so, too, have we had our angels to help us through everything we’ve had to face. How else could all 19 of us be approaching the end of this terrible year in some degree of wholeness and with good memories as well as those that have caused grief and stress?

We don’t always see them and very often don’t even understand that they are there, but we each have those people and those we may conceive of as being ‘spirits’ to help us get to where we are every moment of every day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *