Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Wednesday 18th February

It’s amazing how things that happen around us affect us, sometimes without us even knowing it. We get involved in the more immediate things about real life – interacting with people, producing things that may need to find an audience, driving around, ‘delivering the goods’ – and yet, somewhere inside, often there is a whole other range of emotions and stresses going on, of which we are often not aware.

Such is the role of the subconscious, I suppose

Today was HOT (again – heatwave conditions seem to prevail) and it was just a day of running around fetching and carrying. Even with aircon, the sun seemed to win.

On days like these, having no hair is actually really a bonus!

My hair is remarkably long – well, relatively. I now no longer have white fluff covering my head. It is growing quite rapidly and is coming out dark with the white, so it looks as though I have a kind of greying helmet, or something. At least, that’s what it seems J

Having hair again, though, is interesting. I am still aware of the sun and the temperature on my head, but definitely not quite so much as when I was clean-shaven. I think this is a bit of a false sense of security, as there is definitely not enough hair yet to protect my scalp completely. It struck me, though, that I was quite happily walking around without a bandanna or hat or anything.

I did put my hat on when I went to watch Michael’s cricket, though. That was definitely way too much sun for any scalp to have to endure!

I think it’s also what one gets used to, though. Since I shaved my head, I have been certain that wearing a bandanna (or something) is for me and my comfort. I have not purposefully covered my head just to make others feel better, or anything. Hell, I went to the Nelson Mandela Theatre uncovered – and walked around Knysna similarly clad, well, on my head.

Now, I don’t even register at times that I have very little hair.

It could be a case of something like ‘familiarity breeds comfort’ J

And, at times of stress, it is definitely in the familiar that we find support and, often, the strength to work through those little things our subconscious just cannot let go of.

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