Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Sunday 29th March

I have a new hero – at least, two of them: the guys who managed to sort out my computer.

I am online again – very wary, terribly self-chastised and unbelievably angry at ‘them’ – the cyber terrorists.


My cloud backup spent 10 hours last night restoring the most vital files. Yay!

Not to over work the analogy, but maybe I am a bit like my computer. The cancer corrupted some cells and I needed fairly radical treatment. Now, my body is still restoring all the affected cells.

It just take a little longer than 10 hours J

We spend the day at Roodeplaat Dam today. Whenever I go to a canoeing regatta, I have such good intentions of doing so much work. Somehow, though, the two/three hours between races seems to zoom by and, usually, little or no work gets done.

It’s always annoying when you get up at 5, or so, travel to be somewhere on time and then have to wait for the event to begin – one-and-a-half hours late.

Then, it’s almost surreal to end up finishing the day almost an hour early.

Still, it was a lovely day. Dan paddled like a star and Mike and I were, as usual, the best fan club.

It made me forget the chemo taste that is still hanging on. Forget it for a while, at least. It is the sort of thing I just can’t escape because I’m reminded of it literally with every breath.

One day, I may also be completely ‘re-booted’ and free from all the effects of the cancer thing. Well, physically at least.

I’m absolutely sure that the psychological impact will never leave me. Even if only unconsciously.

There is only so much you can bear, I suppose, before something will have a truly lasting effect.

Fortunately, I am made of stern stuff and am able to work through these things. My back-up system is strong and it will only be a matter of time before everything is either back to, or adjusted to a new, normal.

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