Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Thursday 14th May

Every so often, some opinion / evidence will suggest that I am not necessarily as capable at something as I may think I am. This is mostly, funnily enough, about things to do with Drama.

Then I experience what I have actually taught one of my students, or see what I am capable of achieving and I realise that it’s all about perspective.

I am such an irreverent Drama person, in many ways. Especially when it comes to Drama Education. I am very practical and about making things happen, not all esoteric and ‘arty farty’, although I can play that role with conviction 😉

I definitely get the practicality from Mum. And Dad, I reckon. Mum was always so sensible about the way she approached things and Dad was very ‘hands on’. These are not bad genes to have.

Sometimes, I wonder what Mum would have made of this whole cancer thing. I am still highly miffed at fate that I was robbed of having my mummy and my ‘medical manager’ (as Dad always described her) with me during the whole thing. I am also immensely grateful, though, that she didn’t have to deal with her daughter going through all of that.

I remember how Mum disapproved of my really short hair when I had it shaved for the Shavathon last year. I still wonder what she would have made of me with no hair, or even now, when it is coming back in leaps and bounds, but is still so short.

I am so used to it that I almost can’t imagine me with longer hair.

I think Mum would have just accepted it and done what she could to make me comfortable with the way I had to be. Such is the role of a mother. Despite Mum telling me that, if I had to lose my hair, she would buy me a wig, I know that she would have been guided by the way I wanted to play it and support me all the way.

I miss her so much.


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