Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Saturday 1st August

A new month. Another step through the year.

At what stage does one stop thinking that time just goes so quickly? 🙂

I found out today that sometimes things about yourself are different from what you perceive.

Paul has got us all into doing the Parkrun, mostly every Saturday. In fact, it’s becoming a bit of a pattern to do the run, then go for breakfast on a Saturday morning. I have done about 5 of these runs now, usually walking most of the way. Today I decided to run as much as I could and see how I went.

I was pleasantly surprised to have traversed the 5kms quite successfully – walking up the long hills, but running most of the way. Maybe I am not so completely unfit!

I think that there is a lot of that in the world: we see ourselves and what we do in a certain way, which is not necessarily completely accurate. I am reminded of the Robbie Burns poem, where he suggests that it would be amazing for us to see ourselves as others do.

The one thing this cancer thing has allowed me to do, is to start to do just that at times.

A lot of people have expressed admiration for the way I have handled this whole ‘problem’ (I’m never actually sure what to call it) and worked through it. Every time I read / hear  (and have read / heard) a comment about that, I have felt, and still feel, very humbled. Since the lump was found, I have only known one way of facing and tackling this thing and that is to accept it and to do what has to be done.

Listening to what other people say, it seems to me that it is perhaps unusual for people with cancer to do just that – face the reality head on and forge ahead doing what must be done.

I don’t think I’m particularly brave or unusual. I think I am just me.


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