Jane Ballot

Being me in the world

Thursday 27th August

There are some moments that are just meant to be. There are some experiences that one is just meant to have.

And there are some experiences you never forget and from which you grow so very, very much.

Tonight was all of these.

The final performance of the production was, literally, the point to which this process has been working since I held auditions 5 weeks ago – and since I decided to do a production, which was sometime very early this year. Short and sharp. And very focused. The process could only have succeeded with the group of wonderful students I had the privilege to work with.

We did not have huge audiences, but we had decent-sized audiences, who loved the play. That what it was all about – apart from the pleasure, fun and learning that the play brought with it.

Tonight, one of the students told me that I had made them and I thought that, no, I hadn’t – they had simply been helped to be in a place to do that themselves, to find it within themselves and to grow.

I am, after all, a teacher.

When I got home after the performance, I saw a photo of Mum on FB and I just burst into tears. I always told her everything about my productions and she was always my staunch supporter, even if she didn’t quite approve of the content or get the style. As Dave said, I’m sure she was there tonight. I just so miss being able to tell her.

There is, of course, so much I have missed being able to tell her, particularly during the last year or so. It is not easy to go through something like cancer without  your mother, or your confidante and medical advisor. And yet, that is exactly what I did do. Not only did I go through it, but I came out the other end.

Just as with the performance tonight, I know that Mum has been there every step of the way with me on the cancer journey. And she still is.

It would just be really nice to be able to actually talk to her about these things, sometimes.

Or to share my successes like tonight with her.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *