2020
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Memories of Easter…
I've decided to remind myself what EBC (Easter before Covid) looked like — cosmos, wide skies, and the farm at its most beautiful.
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What a difference a week can make
Two weeks ago, Friday, was the first day of Lockdown. Now, we have one week to go — and nobody quite knows what comes next.
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Time for pics…
I'm making up for lost time. I've decided to go away from Covid and Lockdown and think about what is out there — the super moon, the beach, the farm.
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Crying in the wilderness?
There is an initiative going around for everyone to go outside at 19h00 to make a noise for our frontline heroes — and tonight, for the first time, we joined in.
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As we are confined, so we reach out
I am fascinated and impressed by the number of parody songs, images and memes emerging about Covid-19. It shows that, for once, the whole world is really the same.
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When you can't go out… go up!
Covid has taken our attention elsewhere — sometimes into the garden, sometimes into our own psyche, and sometimes up onto the roof of the house.
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There is a world out there…
The more things change, the more they stay the same — these farm photos from ten years ago show a beauty that lockdown cannot touch.
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2015
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Tuesday 28th July
We've been having a real Winter — 19 hours of load-shedding over three days. Despite it all, things go on pretty much as normal. Such is the adaptability of we South Africans.
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Sunday 19th July
Sometimes you do things that are completely exhausting and completely satisfying at the same time. Today was the annual Potjekos competition at the church.
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Sunday 26th April
Small things can act as triggers to such great things — or great reactions. Today, a game drive at Dinokeng brought Dad flooding back, and then a photo of Mum on Facebook opened the floodgates.
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Saturday 25th April
Birthdays are special. Birthdays of those close to you are even more so. Today is David's birthday — 23 years ago, on a Saturday too, he arrived eager to make his mark on the world.
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Saturday 4th April
Humans are funny creatures. We crave attention, yet want to simply be left to be ourselves. A strange, dual-edged sword — one I've come to understand through cancer.
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Sunday 29th March
I have a new hero — the guys who sorted out my computer. My cloud backup spent 10 hours restoring the most vital files. Not unlike what my body is still doing.
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Saturday 28th March
When the computer guy told me my computer had to be completely scrubbed, I barely turned a hair. It's a lesson that cancer teaches you: do what must be done.
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Tuesday 24th February
Sometimes I feel trapped in a 'three steps forward, two steps back' kind of reality. The chemo taste has been back for three days solid. But it'll all be okay.
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Thursday 19th February
Today, for the first time in what seems like ages, I found myself saying "I'm so tired." An echo of the chemo exhaustion — but I know I will get there. Slowly and steadily.
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Wednesday 18th February
It's amazing how things that happen around us affect us, sometimes without us knowing it. Today was hot — and having no hair is actually really a bonus on days like these.
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Tuesday 17th February
I paddled again today — just 2km — but it reminded me about doing things that take us out of real life for a while. Being on the water is always peaceful.
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Monday 9th February
I worked like a demon today to meet a deadline — and it felt good. A different kind of exhaustion from the one I've been living with for months. Maybe, just maybe, the chemo is starting to lose its grip.
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Monday 20th January
Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. A life sentence — or so the jokes go. It's funny how blithely one makes those comments about something so positive. Cancer, too, is a kind of life sentence.
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Friday 2nd January
Sarah said she doesn't care about a great new year — she just wants nothing dramatic to happen. Wise girl. If the last year has taught me anything, there is nothing wrong with wishing for the ordinary.
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Wednesday 31st December
I went for a run this morning — and a swim, not in the rain this time. So many times, though, things are not as they are supposed to be. Especially for us. Not any more.
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2014
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Tuesday 30th December
I'm ba-a-a-ck! For the first time this holiday, I woke up and went for a run and swim almost immediately. For the first time since the 3rd chemo, I am feeling a whole lot more like me.
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Tuesday 16th September
Philip Larkin writes about the "toad work" squatting on his life. I'm starting to feel like that — as though this cancer is a toad squatting in my boob: completely uninvited, absolutely selfish.
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Monday 15th September
It's so strange to sit here with the knowledge that there's something in my body that doesn't belong — not a visitor, but an intruder that just sits there, growing. And it's got to be got rid of.
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